When should someone with dementia go into a care home?

It’s a decision often laden with guilt, worry and sadness. But often, choosing to move a loved one with dementia into residential aged care is the most caring and supportive option.

Let’s look at some ways to determine if looking into aged care facilities is the best next step. Remember, every situation is unique, so these are meant as guidelines, not strict rules. Always consult with your loved one’s doctor for personalised advice.

Safety first: When care needs exceed what’s possible at home

The most crucial factor is safety. If your loved one’s dementia is causing behaviours that put them at risk, even with your best efforts, high care aged care with 24/7 support might be essential. This includes things like:

• Wandering and getting lost: The confusion of dementia can lead to disorientation, making it dangerous for someone to be alone
• Leaving appliances on: Forgetting to turn off the stove or oven poses a fire hazard
• Difficulties with personal care: Struggling with bathing, dressing or using the toilet can impact hygiene and overall health
• Medication management: Missing doses or taking medications incorrectly can have serious consequences

It’s also crucial to honestly assess your own wellbeing as a caregiver. Caregiver burnout is real and can negatively impact your health and ability to provide care.

If you’re experiencing exhaustion, resentment or constant stress, it’s a sign you may need more support. Seeking help for your loved one doesn’t mean you love them any less.

Signs of deterioration and increased need for support

Here are additional signs that aged care accommodation might be necessary:

• Significant decline in cognitive function: Difficulty with communication, increased confusion and an inability to perform familiar tasks
• Changes in behaviour: Increased agitation, aggression or withdrawal
• Weight loss or poor nutrition: Forgetting to eat, difficulty preparing meals or challenges with swallowing
• Refusal to seek medical help: Ignoring or dismissing medical needs due to confusion or fear
• Social isolation and loneliness: Withdrawing from activities and relationships, leading to further decline

Reframing the transition: A positive shift in care

It’s important to reframe the way we think about moving a loved one into residential aged care. Instead of viewing it as ‘giving up’ or ‘letting them down,’ see it as offering them the opportunity to receive specialised care in a supportive environment.

As one helpline advisor from Dementia Australia suggests, focus on phrases like, “I’m giving my mom the opportunity to have access to 24-hour nursing care facilities” or “I’m giving my dad the chance to be cared for around the clock by people who know what they’re doing.”

This shift in perspective can alleviate guilt and help you focus on the positive aspects of this transition.

Choosing residential aged care is a difficult but sometimes necessary step. By considering your loved one’s safety, your own wellbeing and their overall needs, you can make the most informed and compassionate decision.

Remember, seeking support and guidance from healthcare professionals and organisations like Dementia Australia can make this process easier.